just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
