I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
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