If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
