if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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