just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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