I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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