the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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