she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Damn victory sex feels great
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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