Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize