i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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