And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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