She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
