I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
