dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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