I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize