There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
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