i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
