totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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