We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
