Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
