so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
