And the cops told us we were all naked.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
