the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Two words: nipple clamps
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