If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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