what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
