He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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