yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
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I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
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Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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