Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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