Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I wanna passion pit in your ass
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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