He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
