Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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