WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just invented taco cereal.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
