Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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