Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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