That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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