i would punch a child for taco bell
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
