Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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