Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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