One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
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It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
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he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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