# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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