her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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