11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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