that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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