I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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