Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
