I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
