just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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