I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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