biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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