I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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