p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
