If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He has the fingertips of a God
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