Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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