help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
