It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
