Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Is it because I queefed?
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You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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