do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
