I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
