I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize