Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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