Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
