So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
