you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
